Why can't I still be in New York?

I miss a lot of things about New York, but one of the biggest would be the restaurants. Here are all of the notable ones I dined at this summer, in approximate order of preference:

The Modern
Union Square Cafe
Suba
The Stanton Social
Al di la
Lupa
Buddakan
Craftbar
Craftsteak
Tribeca Grill
Franny's
Esca
Crave
Vento
Grammercy Tavern
Shake Shack
Dos Caminos
Café D'Alsace
Momofuku
wichcraft
Thalia
Haru
Bogota
Agave
Café Noir
Henry Street Ale House
Heights Café
China Grill

Mmmmm!!!!

Perfect Match?

Question: Could Pink and I be any more of a perfect match?? Is it destiny for us to be together?

I mean she has a bulldog who is shy and doesn't like people...so she already loves another creature that is basically just like me.

I knew there was a reason I ended up in NYC this summer - finally I found her!

I've got a question...

Where the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is everyone here in such a rush to get? If I had a nickel for every day that goes by that someone tries to force their way past me on the subway or the sidewalk...well, I'd have $1.70 cause I've been here 34 days. And a buck-seventy can't even buy you a grande drip in this city what with the 8.9275 tax rate and all.

Anyway, seriously, a tip people: if you are walking to get on to a train, and if there are a bunch of people walking the opposite way, and if you can hear a train...don't run! The train is leaving the station - that's where all those friendly people walking towards you just came from, it's true! By pushing past me and running, you are only accomplishing three things:

1. You're being a bad global citizen cause you just knocked against one of my recently pressed shirt
2. You're increasing your perspiration levels, which no one in your 9:00 AM meeting is going to appreciate
3. You're making a fool of yourself in front of your fellow train-mates

Ten seconds later, when I come down the steps to find these people standing there disgruntled and waiting for the next train, I want to pull them aside and conduct a mini focus group, I want to try to get in their heads and figure out what causes this behavior. Maybe there is a big market opportunity here. Maybe I could create some kind of human training device, like Maslov-esque or something...I don't know, but I feel like something is there...

Welcome to New York

I've been here less than 24 hours and already have had my first New York moment I guess. I'm standing in front of the three, 10-foot high bay windows that look out over my cute, tree-lined summer street and I see this man...

This man looks absolutely, certifiably insane: He has gray, unwashed, thinning hair; a shrunken and sallow faced; he is underweight and has a slight hump to his posture; and he is staggering and swaying as he tries to run down the street, his left arm wrapped across his stomach, and his right arm wrapped behind his own back as though he's trying to hug himself.

I think to myself, shit, maybe this isn't the best neighborhood. Then I think, how is someone like that not in treatment or on medication. Then I observe how no one else is really paying much attention to him.

He unexpectedly veers right and heads into the Starbucks (you read right, there is a Starbucks directly across the street from me!) All of a sudden, his absurd "jog" ceases, his self-embrace desists, he calmly clasps his hands behind his back in a most dignified manner, and strolls into the Starbucks.

I guess some people enjoy their coffee even more than I do!