I hate lines

So, apparently, it is perfect that I am moving to New York where lines at grocery stores can be epic.

But wait! An article in the NYTimes today details how the wildly popular Whole Foods has so cleverly managed to address this problem. It is all very interesting, but of course also very silly. I didn't do so well in Operations, and I'm pretty sure all I really needed to know was that Little's Law is I=RT (but I don't know what I, R, or T is), but one thing I do remember is queuing theory, which is all Whole Foods is using.

As the article points out, banks have long used a single queue with multiple teller-windows to ensure no one gets stuck in a long, slow moving line, and that generally every customer is helped in the shortest time possible. It would have been nice if the article had also given props to Best Buy, since they have been using this same system, first at busy times like Christmas, but I believe now all the time - at least in their Midwest stores. So while the article is right to mention the fear of customers abandoning a queue when it looks too long to them, Best Buy could be pointed to as a fellow retailer who has made this work.

Also interesting was their use of first people, now electronic signage, to reveal the expected wait time. Again, great application. Let's give it up for Cedar Point though! How many times have we raced to the Gemini or Magnum XL, not been able to see the whole line, but seen that sign that says, "The expected wait from this point is: 1/4 hours" and then kept on running!

So basically what this article teaches us is that Whole Foods execs are using their fat bonus checks from the ridiculous popularity of their stores to, a) buy new plasma TVs, Wii's, and to pre-order the iPhone and b) take weekend trips to Sandusky, OH to kick the sky on the Raptor. Nice.

Viral Marketing

Most of it sucks right? How sweet is this though?

Is it wrong to love Starbucks?

I don't generally think of myself as a brand or trend-whore. But every now and then there is something which completely runs in the face of this desired self-perception (in addition to my North Face fleece, my Jack Spade bag, my JCrew clothing, etc.) Take, for example, Starbucks. I love it. The coffee, the specialty drinks, the environment, the music/movie/lifestyle recommendations. It is great.

And I love the new campaign around the idea of "making it yours", especially the ability to create your own custom-drink artwork - with the help of Michael Knight from Project Runway fame, not Night Rider. Not only can you create your cup, but you can then download the artwork as your screen saver and even win a free t-shirt of your cup if you are one of the first people every morning starting at 10:00 AM! How sweet is that? Or is it sweet? What is wrong with me? Would I really walk around with a t-shirt advertising what a high-maintenance cappuccino-orderer I am?

How do Firms in Competitive Industries Make Money?

Although I have spent a lot of money on this MBA, pretty much all I need to know I could learn from The Real Housewives of Orange County (fine, so I've watched it once or twice, Jo is hot!)

Anyway, Lindsay, one of the young ladies on the show (whose father wants her to go to "Princeton, Harvard, or Yale") when asked in an interview for a job as a receptionist...at a...hair studio...in a mall how she feels about retail sales, breaks it down Porter's-Five-Forces style:

"Yah...I think retail sales are good. They are good for making money and giving people stuff."

Bettering Society

One of my good friends from high school visited me the other weekend. We found that we've not only grown to have very similar views on how people interact with one another, but that we have taken that passion and created pretty similar blogs.

His most recent entry reflects a conversation we had that weekend and is one I feel like I deserve to be co-author of. In it, he talks about a negative feedback mechanism for bad drivers.

But what if we took this concept a step further? Why should it be limited to cars? People constantly display rude behavior on subways, on the sidewalk, in elevators, at restaurants, on their cell phones.

Think about a site like eBay that monitors itself and its own members and, presumably, build a stronger community because people can leave feedback for one another that is visible to other users.

In society in general, this doesn't exist. If you showed up to work and you car was covered in paint, your co-workers and boss would know you were an asshole. But how can we take that concept and broaden it? How can we penalize negative behavior, but honestly the bigger opportunity, how can we collectively reward positive behavior beyond just the highway?

If someone holds the elevator for me when I'm clearly running late, wouldn't it be great if I could give them the equivalent of a gold star, one that would be visible to others? It is similar to the Red Cross giving you a sticker that says "Be nice to me, I donated blood today".

And of course, if some moron closes the elevator on me, shouldn't I be able to debit his kindness quotient?

Ticketmaster = The Biggest Possum

I feel about Ticketmaster, as I feel about Possums. I hate them both. They both should burn.

Riddle me this: I buy three $15 tickets to see my Indians beat the crappy Tigers. How much should that cost...NPV of $45 right? NO! Let's review all of the wonderful charges our friends at Ticketmaster levy for the wonderful convenience of purchasing tickets from them!

FIRST WONDERFUL TICKETMASTER CHARGE: $3.85 "Order Processing Charge" Okay, this I can appreciate, they have to make some money for processing my order right? Fine.

SECOND WONDERFUL TICKETMASTER CHARGE: $4.25 "Convenience Charge" - PER TICKET!! A 28% levy for a little convenience! Who's ever heard of a "Convenience Charge" anyway? Is there a way for me to select an inconvenient alternative and keep my $12.75?? Cause I'm pretty sure the "convenience" isn't really worth that much to me.

THIRD WONDERFUL TICKETMASTER CHARGE: $2.50 to email my tickets to me so I can print them out myself! So let's get this straight, if I elect to have the venue print a real ticket on heavy ticket stock and pay someone to sit there in the ticket booth, check my ID, look for my tickets, and collect my signature, there is no charge. But if you send me an email and I use my ink and my paper and my printer, you charge me for it?! I understand it is demand pricing in that I skip the wait at the stadium. But let's review: you've already taxed me $16.60 to use your services - more than the price of one of my tickets - and now you are going to tack on $2.50 more?

I'm going to bring a big blow-up doll to the game with me and put a t-shirt on it that says "Master of Tickets" and sit that damn thing in the seat next to me, and when the user tells me to move it, I'm going to whip out my receipt and show him that I actually paid more for the "Master of Tickets" to come to the game than any of the rest of us there.