I've got a question...

Where the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is everyone here in such a rush to get? If I had a nickel for every day that goes by that someone tries to force their way past me on the subway or the sidewalk...well, I'd have $1.70 cause I've been here 34 days. And a buck-seventy can't even buy you a grande drip in this city what with the 8.9275 tax rate and all.

Anyway, seriously, a tip people: if you are walking to get on to a train, and if there are a bunch of people walking the opposite way, and if you can hear a train...don't run! The train is leaving the station - that's where all those friendly people walking towards you just came from, it's true! By pushing past me and running, you are only accomplishing three things:

1. You're being a bad global citizen cause you just knocked against one of my recently pressed shirt
2. You're increasing your perspiration levels, which no one in your 9:00 AM meeting is going to appreciate
3. You're making a fool of yourself in front of your fellow train-mates

Ten seconds later, when I come down the steps to find these people standing there disgruntled and waiting for the next train, I want to pull them aside and conduct a mini focus group, I want to try to get in their heads and figure out what causes this behavior. Maybe there is a big market opportunity here. Maybe I could create some kind of human training device, like Maslov-esque or something...I don't know, but I feel like something is there...