Ticketmaster = The Biggest Possum

I feel about Ticketmaster, as I feel about Possums. I hate them both. They both should burn.

Riddle me this: I buy three $15 tickets to see my Indians beat the crappy Tigers. How much should that cost...NPV of $45 right? NO! Let's review all of the wonderful charges our friends at Ticketmaster levy for the wonderful convenience of purchasing tickets from them!

FIRST WONDERFUL TICKETMASTER CHARGE: $3.85 "Order Processing Charge" Okay, this I can appreciate, they have to make some money for processing my order right? Fine.

SECOND WONDERFUL TICKETMASTER CHARGE: $4.25 "Convenience Charge" - PER TICKET!! A 28% levy for a little convenience! Who's ever heard of a "Convenience Charge" anyway? Is there a way for me to select an inconvenient alternative and keep my $12.75?? Cause I'm pretty sure the "convenience" isn't really worth that much to me.

THIRD WONDERFUL TICKETMASTER CHARGE: $2.50 to email my tickets to me so I can print them out myself! So let's get this straight, if I elect to have the venue print a real ticket on heavy ticket stock and pay someone to sit there in the ticket booth, check my ID, look for my tickets, and collect my signature, there is no charge. But if you send me an email and I use my ink and my paper and my printer, you charge me for it?! I understand it is demand pricing in that I skip the wait at the stadium. But let's review: you've already taxed me $16.60 to use your services - more than the price of one of my tickets - and now you are going to tack on $2.50 more?

I'm going to bring a big blow-up doll to the game with me and put a t-shirt on it that says "Master of Tickets" and sit that damn thing in the seat next to me, and when the user tells me to move it, I'm going to whip out my receipt and show him that I actually paid more for the "Master of Tickets" to come to the game than any of the rest of us there.